Sonic Universe #54 (September 2013)

Spaz/Herms cover: Sonic and Mega break the fourth wall, literally. Cracked-up versions of Metal Sonic, Bass, Wily and Eggman appear reflected in the glass, though the latter two were pretty well cracked to begin with.

“When Worlds Collide Part 11: Worst of the Worst”

Story: Ian Flynn; Art: Ben Bates; Ink: Gary Martin; Color: Matt Herms; Lettering: Assistant Editor: Vincent Lovallo; Editor: Paul Kaminski; Editor-in-Chief; Victor Gorelick; Penultimator: Mike Pellerito: Gamers: Anthony Gannione, Cindy Chau, and Brian Oliveira.

PREVIOUSLY: Backtracking to Mega Man 27 here: It looks like light’s out for Dr. Light, and Ian milks his freefall in a major Heart way he’s seldom if ever done for the Sonic comics, right down to focusing on Light’s teardrops. So what happens to him? It’s Shadow to the rescue as he Chaos Controls in and whisks him away from the free-fall frying pan and into the line of fire of the bot vs. Mobian melee where he puts on Proto’s helmet because it has a built-in com so he can communicate with Mega. Sonic, Tails, Mega and Rush then take advantage of Tails’s l33t haxxor skillz and warp into the Wily Egg. Meanwhile, Wily is all “Srsly, dude, you tried to kill Light?!?” and Eggman is all: “I’m evil; deal with it.” Roll, meanwhile, finally gets around to warping Duo to the scene of battle. Sonic and company duke it out with a trio of bots playing defense, which is pretty routine stuff, but Tails is near a piece of one of the bots when it blows up. Since Antoine set the precedent, Tails survives the explosion with only ruffled fur, smudge marks, and a tendency to speak in World War 2 movie clichés. Tails is evacuated while Sonic and Mega take on the Chaos Devil with Duo arriving just in time to administer the coup de grace. Sonic and Mega eventually break through to where Badass Bass, Metal Sonic and Treble are waiting for them. That was then.

This is now. While Wily and Egg put the finishing touches on the Egg Wily Machine X and nurse grudges against each other, it’s Sonic, Mega, Metal, Bass and Treble in various combinations. So they take it to the next level, with Mega trotting out one mojo after another to soften up the baddies. And we switch the musical milieu from Rock to mambo: Mambo #5 to be precise:

A little bit of Shadow and you’re in a bind

A little bit of Silver will blow your mind

A little bit of Espio ninja-style

A little bit of Vector with his toothy smile

A little bit of Amy Rose hammers you

A little bit of Tails who’s a hero too

A little bit of Knuckles breaks you in half

A little bit of Charmy just for a laugh

No wonder Lou Bega did like half a million variations on that song; you can plug anything into it.

But no sooner do they vanquish the bunch of baddies than the Egg Wily Machine X crashes their party. And we get two pages of exposition from the baddies talking about how they’ll be remaking their respective cosmoses. That pretty much killed the suspense for me; that kind of hubris never brings you anything but grief, even in a comic book.

HEAD: We’re at part 11 of 12, and all this installment has to offer is one major fight and exposition by the villains. That’s about it. This arc is looking like Buzz Lightyear: it may not be flying and it may be falling with style but it’s still falling.

When your villains get boring, you’re in trouble. Wily and Eggman alternate between grandiosity and mistrust, while Badass is an off-the-shelf bad bot. Treble and Metal are bots lacking any of the programmed personality of the Fill-In-The-Blank Men who come from the Mega-verse. The hardest work I put in on this review was looking to plug the names of Sonic characters into Lou Vega’s “Mambo Number 5.” It’s appropriate that the Chaos Emeralds put in an appearance here because this story’s energy level is way down. Head Score: 3.

EYE: The flagging spirit of this story is not for want of trying to juice it up by Ben Bates, who brings some neat Jonathan Gray touches to his artwork. The exaggerations in facial expressions are nice, though some of the fight scenes are so active they get a little confusing. Eye Score: 8.

HEART: Ian used up his Heart points in Mega Man 27 during Dr. Light’s death plunge. As a result, there’s nothing left for this installment, even when Sonic and Mega are captured. That’s about the only chance we have to feel something for them, and instead the emphasis shifts to that old standby, Villains Ranting. I’m reminded of the scene between Lucius/Frozone and Bob/Mr. Incredible from “The Incredibles”:

Lucius: [Bob and Lucius are sitting in a parked car, reminiscing] So now I'm in deep trouble. I mean, one more jolt of this death ray and I'm an epitaph. Somehow I manage to find cover and what does Baron von Ruthless do?

Bob: [laughing] He starts monologuing.

Lucius: He starts monologuing! He starts like, this prepared speech about how *feeble* I am compared to him, how *inevitable* my defeat is, how *the world* *will soon* *be his*, yadda yadda yadda.

Bob: Yammering.

Lucius: Yammering! I mean, the guy has me on a platter and he won't shut up!

Honestly, I can never read a villain’s rave-out in a comic book without thinking of that exchange. And I have the same feeling here, like “OK, we get it, you’re evil and going to take over the universe yadda yadda yadda. End the damned story already!” This is the anti-Heart. Heart Score: 0.

FAN ART: Taylor draws Mega and Sonic in Mexican apparel right down to cheesy facial hair; maybe if one of them had been dressed as a Canadian Mountie it could have been called “When Worlds Collide: The NAFTA Edition.” Robert O. has Sonic taking a break to catch up on his reading. Blair does a very jazzy drawing of Mega battling Eggman in battle armor. But my favorite is Robert’s drawing of Sonic and Mega in a wardrobe swap; I think Mega looks really cute with Sonic ears.

OFF-PANEL: Metal and Bass rock out. All they need is Big Hair Man playing drums and you’ve got something.

And a full-page ad announces the next Sonic Universe offering: “Pirate Plunder Panic.” They should just call it “Treasure Team Tango 2.0” and get it over with.