Jeffery sat at the dinner table forking dots into his mashed potatoes.  Joe noticed the perplexed look on Jeffery’s face and said to him, “What you see is what you get.”  Jeffery looked up in bewilderment, wondering what his grandfather was talking about.  Sylvia piped in, “Leave the boy alone, anybody can see he has a lot on his mind.  He’s probably considering what the minister said in his sermon this morning.”  Jeffery rolled his eyes and returned to playing with his food.  Sylvia was looking for an opportunity to reinforce her beliefs on Jeffery.  So now weather or not Jeffery’s contemplative mood was related to the sermon or not, Sylvia was intent on driving home the points of the pastor’s sermon she felt Jeffery should have gotten.  Looking at Jeffery she went on to ask, “So, how did you feel about the minister’s remarks that “God used Joseph’s time in Egypt as a slave and the time he was in prison to mature him and teach a self-centered, spoiled boy how to forgive his brothers?”  No response from Jeffery, so Sylvia continued, “Seems to me that a little hardship in life can be good for a person if it teaches them to be a better person.  On the other hand, it’s not good for a person to dwell on their past to the point that they can’t get on with their life, don’t you agree?”   Still silence.  “If Joseph had . . .” “For Pete’s sake, Grandma, what do you want me to do, agree with you that I’m spoiled, I don’t have a job, I don’t have any plans for my life but to sit around and feel sorry for myself.”   “Well, maybe if you forgave your mother like Joseph forgave his brother’s you could get past all this, after all . . .”  This time Joe interrupted Sylvia, “I agree with what you said the first time Dear. . . something about leaving the boy alone.”  

              Actually, Jeffery had not been thinking about the sermon, but he had been seriously considering what he should do with his life.  His relationship with Lousia was getting more serious.  After they first started dating he grew tired of her and tried to offend her in ways that would make her go away.  But he couldn’t shake her loose.  She was the most persistent girl he had ever met.  And now after a few months of her always being around he realized he was really enjoying her company.  She was always positive no matter how negative the situation, always optimistic in the face of defeat, always cheerful no matter how anybody treated her.   When she wasn’t around Jeffery found himself thinking about what Lousia would say if she were here in his situation.  Realizing he missed her when she wasn’t around he decided he wanted her around all the time.  But how could he marry her if he couldn’t support her?  He couldn’t ask her to move in with his grandparent’s because they would never have any privacy.  On the other hand Jeffery didn’t want to find just any job because he wanted to do something important, to discover his life’s calling. 

              Through the remainder of the meal Sylvia was itching to find more ways to express her religious views she had gleamed from this morning’s sermon to Jeffery.  But the one thing she did not try was to listen to Jeffery’s thoughts.  Her efforts to share her religious beliefs were one sided because she was the only one interested in talking about it.   

              Over the years neither Joe nor Sylvia had attempted to understand Jeffery’s point of view so they often missed out on discovering the difference between his reality and their reality.  They were still convinced that Jeffery had no interest in making anything of his life.  When in reality, Jeffery was in need of good advice about how to move forward with his life.  Advice he didn’t get because they didn’t want him to communicate his personal feelings.  They didn’t feel they needed to hear them because, after all, they assumed that they already knew them.

              Sylvia often does not take the effort to understand other people’s feelings before she preaches to them.  It is easier to stereotype and classify other people and make predictions and generalizations about them rather than understand what is going on in the “reality” of that other person’s world. 

Discussion Questions:

1.  When you witness to another person and attempt to share your religious beliefs, how well do you come to understand that person’s feelings before you blow them away with the Mark of the Beast or Sabbath keeping?

2.  Have your spouse share with you how well you are at listening and understanding as part of properly communicating.

3.  What are some steps you can make in order to understand other people’s feelings in order to better communicate with them?

4.  In what ways can do you feel your communication with God could improve by listening more then talking to Him?

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