Case Study on Sharing
Responsibilities in Newlywed Couple
Just as Ysebel and Manny
thought they were past the worst of their financial troubles. Manny got more bad news from his boss at the
electronics warehouse. Sales were not picking
up yet. Everyone was being forced to
take a temporary layoff. The projected
layoff was for the next 6 months but after that everyone was promised to get
their old jobs back. Manny was tempted
to be worried but he couldn’t forget what Pastor Sanchez taught him. “Don’t worry about money, be like the
sparrows and let God take care of your needs.”
Ysebel agreed that the
devil was tempting them to worry about money again but they were going to trust
God this time. But Ysebel thought to
herself, “God doesn’t criticize a sparrow for looking does he?” The next day Ysebel made a few calls and
before she knew it she had a job interview.
By the end of the week she was hired full time in a veterinary clinic to
help take care of the animals.
Suddenly, Manny and
Ysebel found there roles reversed.
Ysebel was going to work in the morning and Manny was staying home to
take care of the house. Manny always
believed that Ysebel had it much easier than he did having to work all
day. So he considered this to be a nice
little vacation. Ysebel on the other
hand knew that Manny always took her for granted and didn’t appreciate
everything she did. “Now Manny can learn
what it is like to have all the household responsibilities,” she thought to
herself. Previously, Manny had never
contributed to the household chores. In
fact often he would feel put out when Ysebel would ask him to do the simplest
things.
It wasn’t very long
before Manny started to feel overwhelmed with the responsibilities he had to do. He often wasn’t able to accomplish many of
his daily tasks alone, at first his mother had to come over and show him how
things needed to be done. But she
wouldn’t let him live it down either so he did everything he could imagine
before he would turn to his mother for help again. Manny didn’t know the first thing about
cooking or cleaning but then to complicate things he has to baby-sit his five
year old sister, Angela. Every afternoon
Angela stays with him till his parents get home. Ysebel had been doing before she started her
new Job, so now it has become Manny’s responsibility. And up till now he had no idea how exhausting
a bored five year old could be.
As the months went by
Ysebel’s work began to get more and more demanding. The veterinarian appreciated how good she was
with the animals and gave her harder responsibilities over time. With this the changes in the home were
gradual at first but they became more noticeable over time. For example Manny started to feel more
comfortable with housework. Cleaning was
becoming second nature to him, like cleaning the toilet. At first he wore a bio-hazard mask and rubber
gloves up to his elbows and eventually over time he left the protective gear in
the garage. With one hand a squirt, splish-splash, flush . . . while eating an empanada in his
other hand. Manny learned what it took
to be a good caregiver to Angela, he figured out that if he spent a little time
to make her happy when she first got home the rest of the afternoon would go
100% better. Other problems were not so
easy to fix. As Ysebel came home feeling
more tired and stressed he realized a significant decline in her sexual
appetite was taking place. So now on top
of every thing else he had to think of special ways to arouse her interest
romantically. But by far the hardest
thing Manny had to deal with was the loss of a singular identity in his
wife. She no longer belonged to him
alone. Now she belonged to him, her new
job, and a bunch of other people’s pets.
t
the end of the six months when Manny’s supervisor called him back to work,
Ysebel was enjoying her job too much to quit.
So now they are both working full time.
But because of their experience with role reversal both of them learned
valuable lessons that helped them share there household responsibilities
equally now that they are both working full time. Manny learned that most of the time, “What he
did or didn’t do spoke so loud that Ysebel couldn’t hear what he had to say.” It didn’t mean as much when Manny used to say
“I love you.” But now his actions
express the same things as his words and they mean so much more. Ysebel learned that when Manny is happy and
feels appreciated he wants to be more helpful to her. On the other hand when Manny feels unhappy or
taken for granted the last thing in the world he wants to do was to make her
life easier.
Discussion Questions: