Brenda
opened up the kitchen cabinet and took out a box of chocolate chip
cookies. She put several handfuls of
cookies in a bowl and poured two glasses of milk. Roger was sitting comfortably on the couch
relaxing, enjoying the quiet evening. He
was soaking in the warmth of the fire in the fireplace in front of him as
Brenda placed a glass of milk on the table next to him. She placed another
glass of milk on the wooden part of the couch’s arm where she was going to
sit. Cuddling close next to Roger she
pulled a lap blanket up to her chest and sat the bowl of cookies in between
them. She felt snug in the silence of
the room, as the crackling of the fire calmed her fragile nerves. Then the
startling sound of the door bell rang breaking the calm. With a sigh Brenda questioned, “now what?”
Roger chuckled, “maybe it is Santa.”
Brenda patted Roger on his round belly that was jiggling as he
giggled. Brenda announced that Santa had
some competition if he planed to come here tonight. She lazily rose from the
couch, trudged across the room, and peeked around the curtain to see who was
annoying them at the door. Roger looked
intently behind him as Brenda squealed, before he could get to his feet; Brenda
had flung the door open and was shouting at the top of her lungs. Roger felt a cold chill run up his spine; he
grabbed a boot off the floor to use as a club as he rushed to Brenda’s
defense.
By
the time he got close enough to see what was going on he saw Brenda doing a
little dance in the doorway as she pulled her grandkids into her arms. Roger smiled and dropped the boot as he
approached the door but as he rounded the corner what he saw even surprised
him. Keisha and James were standing on the porch arm in arm and they were
smiling at each other. James’ fiancé was
next to him and Keisha’s husband and kids were gathered around her. Roger was so taken back at the sight, he
tried to motion everyone into the house, but he wasn’t quite able to
speak. Brenda was crying and muttering
something about “how” and “when” but she was so hysterical that nobody could
actually make out what she was saying.
There was a mass of noise and confusion as the gang embarked into the
house. The overwhelming reception
continued on with more hugging and laughing.
Questions were flying and the excitement had them spinning, grandkids
were running from room to room. Suddenly
a glass of milk went crashing to the floor in the living room bringing everyone
back down to earth. After they cleaned
up the mess and every one calmed down a little, Roger and Brenda sat down to
hear what was going on. Brenda and Roger
had long given up on the kids ending their feud. They would have been thrilled
just to know the hatred had lessened.
But here were the kids sitting side by side; it was too unbelievable to
comprehend. Brenda kept asking, “how . . . how?”
Finally
James began to explain, it started with Keisha, she called about a month or so
ago and they started getting together and talking. The resentment between them was so deep it
took a long time to get through a discussion without fighting. But Keisha was persistent, and she had an
agenda to make peace with James. Keisha
said, “It was really hard for me too, but once I gave myself permission to let
go of my hurts and letting go wasn’t betraying my Dad, it got easier.” She went on to say, “the next thing I need to
do was ask James to forgive me for all the hurt I have caused him over the
years.” They talked about several of the
issues they worked and how they were finally able to resolve the most serious
ones. “There were a lot of hurts we
couldn’t fix, so we realized we couldn’t change the way life happened to
us. We decided to leave the past in the
past and totally accept each other the way we are now, without blame or
regrets.” James added. Keisha laughed,
“The funny thing is once we stopped fighting we realized how much we had in
common and that we actually kinda enjoying spending
time with each other.” She paused, as
she and James looked seriously at one another for a moment, then with
determination she shyly asked, “Mom . . . Dad? Will you forgive us for the pain
we caused you by sabotaging this family as kids? There was an uncomfortable silence for a
moment, then Roger and Brenda both broke down crying and saying how they
forgive them, how happy they were, and how they wanted forgiveness too.
The
first step toward unconditional love is forgiveness for one another, accepting
one another, even with all their mistakes, faults and irritating ways. Keisha and James felt their blended family
was a mess growing up, full of loss, fear and guilt. They felt angry at their parents and upset at
the situation. They refused to unite.
Families like this resemble individual ingredients like oil, water, flower and
yeast; yet they remain separate and will not mix together. However, as they began to accept their past
and forgive one another, suddenly they allowed themselves to blend. Cooked with
the heat from the years of challenges, problems and difficulties; they
discovered with the right attitude they could bond under adversity rather than
stay divided. Then magically a chemical reaction occurred changing the
individual ingredients into a new delicious creation, like home-made
bread.
Discussion Questions:
1.
Are
there individuals in your family that you have trouble blending with?
2.
Are
there people in your life that you are unwilling or unable to forgive?
3.
What
are the steps you can make to end the turmoil and respond to this person with
love unconditionally?
4.
How
does your walk with Christ affect your ability to love others unconditionally?