Nina Vallado

Telling our story through film taught me what sisterhood is.

In May 2017, Nina Vallado graduated magna cum laude with a Bachelor of Fine Arts in documentary film. Her senior project, a short documentary called “Sisterly,” talks about Nina’s relationship with her sister, Lisa, who is on the autism spectrum.

It’s strange to put into words what it was like growing up with Lisa.

She’s my sister, and I loved her, and I interacted with her in the means I knew how, but because there was no verbal communication, I didn’t really know her. She could repeat things she’d been trained to say, such as responses to, “how was your day?” or “what is your favorite color?”, but her interests, her personality, her dreams—they were a mystery to me.

Telling our story through film taught me what sisterhood is. Before this I based my idea of what sisterhood should be off of what my mom and her sisters had, or what my friends and their sisters had. But sisterhood is a unique bond that you create with your own sisters.

My sisters, Karen and Lisa, and I have our own special sisterhood. It was never the worst thing in the world that Lisa couldn’t speak; we just found things we could do together—things Lisa loved, like puzzles and Memory, and everything Disney. Oh man—Disney. That’s the one thing we always knew we would bond over. Disney singalongs, Disney toys, Disney movies, Disneyland. It was our guaranteed sisterhood bonding method. Even today we can name any Disney song and Lisa can recite it by memory, using her stencil board.

Karen and I met Lisa where she was at and we spent hours doing the things she loved to do. As a kid, I was okay with that. Lisa was always more on the periphery, but we were still pretty close. It’s a weird mix of complexity, our relationship. Sisterhood can be complicated, messy or broken, but it’s still sisterhood. And we have always had that.

Lisa and I have always had connection and intimacy, and now it’s really just a matter of exploring those things. Since Lisa began expressing herself in writing at age 16, we’ve had a breakthrough, and my film kind of gives viewers a glimpse of that, but I’m still searching. The breakthrough wasn’t the end; my film just gave me a place to start, and I haven’t stopped.

A Kickstarter fundraiser helped me raise enough money to have an original score composed for the film, and I used that money to hire an Icelandic composer, then fly my sisters and I out to Iceland for a weekend to meet with the composer in the studio. This was a special trip for us, because it was Lisa’s first ever trip without our parents. She expressed to us afterward that it was the first time she really felt like an adult. That was incredibly meaningful to me, and I was so glad we were able to have that experience together. It was a big step for all of us.

Karen has always been very defensive of Lisa. Even though they are further apart than Lisa and I are, they were always closer in school because Lisa was held back. They shared a bedroom, and every other year they shared a classroom, so they shared a lot of friends, as well. Karen’s whole life involved Lisa. She’s Lisa’s protector. This, however, led to several arguments between me and Karen during the making of “Sisterly.” I would love a scene and show it to Karen and two minutes in we would be fighting because she thought it portrayed Lisa poorly or that something was mean. She, as well as my parents, were apprehensive about how I would portray Lisa and how I would portray our family. In the end, Karen, as well as my parents, was overwhelmed with emotion and so much love and pride for the film.

I didn’t really have a dream for “Sisterly.” That may be sad, but I think I just didn’t want to be disappointed. I decided to “aim low,” and I submitted it to some small, local film festivals, but none of them accepted it. I started looking for free festivals, and found the student Oscars. I had nothing to lose. Out of the blue I got an email from them that started with, “Congratulations!” and my first thought was, “What?!” I’d made it into the semi-finals. A month later, I got a notification that I’d made it to the finals. I find out in mid-September whether or not my film was selected as a winner, and from there I could go to the actual Oscars.

There’s a film that came out in 2016 called “Life Animated,” which tells the story of an autistic boy, and how Disney helped the boy communicate and understand the world. That film was important to me on so many levels, and had a huge impact on the story I was telling with “Sisterly.” There’s a short scene in the film where the brother talks about the fears and joys of having a sibling with autism, and I related to that scene so much. It gave me confidence to continue with the theme of sisterhood in my film. If I could show my film to anyone in the world, I’d want to show it to that family, because their story helped validate my own.

Since my film debuted, people have begun to treat Lisa differently. They talk to her like she’s a grown-up. Like she’s her age. Before the film many people would baby her or talk in simple words or talk at her rather than with her, but I think people understand now that she’s listening and internalizing all of their words, and that she’s capable of responding to them.

After a screening in Washington, D.C., a local reporter asked to speak with Lisa, asking her questions directly. Lisa communicated with her stencil board and answered all the reporter’s questions on her own. Not everyone does this, but those who do go quite far in making it seem as though Lisa is more of the adult she is, and more included in society.

I think that’s what I would have always hoped for in this film, and for her life to change. To bring people to be more inclusive of her. Now she’s not just talked about, but talked with. Her life has changed in that small manner, but it means drastic changes for her feelings and how she’s embraced into the community.