The sweet fruit you hoped and prayed for finally came in due season. Along with what felt like perfect timing, came peace, happiness, and gratitude. At first, it seemed too good to be true, but over time, you learned to rest in your God-given blessing…that promotion, that friendship, that creative opportunity, that relationship. You looked up at God and thanked him for ‘lookin out,’ for keeping his promise of giving good gifts to those who love him (Matt 7:11). It was the quintessence of ‘life is good.’ Then, a simple truth hit: Practice makes perfect until it just … doesn’t. No matter how many times you’ve had to let something go, each time feels just like the first. You ask the same questions, feel the same magnitude of pain, and journal the same number of pages about how you “just don’t understand.” A hard lesson in letting go…
Let me first begin by saying that this message is not as bleak as it appears at first read. Challenging and potentially painful, maybe, but certainly not hopeless. That being said, there is much to say on the psychological benefits of letting go of a toxic thing. I mean, it goes without saying (proceeds to say anyway). Releasing painful emotions and centering ourselves in the present moment not only boosts our resilience but improves both our mental and physical health (Benefits, 2016). Likewise, removing toxicity from our lives increases our ability to be optimistic, allows room for self-growth, improves mood, and increases self-esteem (Noonan, 2019). In other words, if you’re currently wrestling with whether or not to keep certain toxicity in your space, this is your sign to let it go, sis/bro. But what’s the script for letting go of a good thing, something or someone that brought immense growth and joy into your life?
I was met with this question in my own life, not too long ago. God had allowed me to partake in a really good thing for a good chunk of my story. As you may assume, my initial response to returning what God had lent me was utter denial and rationalization. To be frank, it hurt … a lot. Psychology suggests that this hurt is often due to an ingrained belief that to let go of that “thing” is to actually let go of a part of you; to have to change who you are (Celeste, 2020). This was definitely true for me. On the other hand, I was quite frankly upset at God for blessing me with something just to snatch it away, and in a manner that seemed abrupt. Did he not understand the magnitude of the situation? Was he unaware of the possible repercussions? I was tempted to think so. With time, however, my frustration made room for understanding, and here is what brought me a bit of comfort…
A good gift from God only remains good within the bounds of its intended season. Once it has served its time, despite our attempts at preservation, it will lose its flavor. While saddening, this idea also brings gratitude. Just think, God knows and cares for you and your needs so deeply that he gifted you with this beautiful thing for as long as he knew you’d need it. The gift was meant to be enjoyed. It was given to teach you specific lessons, to expand your perspective, to reveal pivotal components of your story that may not come to fruition until a future time. Whatever the purpose of the gift, be encouraged, that if God is choosing to take it away now, its purpose was fulfilled. I can recall times where I gripped a life-giving thing so tightly, just to witness how sour it became as I dragged it into a part of my life that it did not belong. It’s the equivalent of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Frustrating.
Listen, it is natural to mourn, to reminisce, and to even feel that void for a while; but remember that just how God met your needs in one season, he will undoubtedly meet them in the next. He will always give you what you need, when and how you need it. God wants you to be happy, but above all, He wants you to be able to trust him with yourself. Trust that he is not going to withhold something good from you. It’s just not who he is. Friend, won’t you trust God enough to let go of your good thing?
References:
Celeste, N. (2020). The Psychology of Letting Go. Psychreg.
https://www.psychreg.org/the-psychology-of-letting-go/#:~:text=Letting%20go%20is%2
0hard%20because,letting%20go%20to%20be%20scary.
Noonan, S. J. (2019). The Art of Letting Go: How letting go of a positive or a negative can
impact our lives. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/view-the-mist/201912/the-art-letting-go#:~:text=Letting%20go%20of%20a%20negative,in%20a%20much%2Dimproved%20way.
The psychological benefits of ‘letting go’ (2016). The Chelsea Psychology Clinic.
https://www.thechelseapsychologyclinic.com/self-help/psychological-benefits-letting-go/.
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