She screamed louder than I had ever heard her scream before. My hand was gripping hers so tightly that I was scared I was cutting off her circulation, but I knew that it was important that I hold on.
Have you ever experienced true terror? Felt your heart drop to your stomach, your thoughts evaporating as your instincts kicked in with full force? Whose hands held you, protected you?
We were on the biggest roller coaster in the Six Flags in Montreal, the “Goliath,” a 4000-foot long monstrosity with a speed of 70 miles an hour. There was one catch though: my little 9-year-old sister, who, I should add, was at a theme park for the first time, had no idea what type of ride she was in for. And now, I was holding on tight to her hand, my boyfriend’s arm braced in front of her from the other side, trying to reassure her that she was safe between us.
Convincing her to even get in line for the ride was a careful unspoken strategy of artful distraction and tactful avoidance of her anxious questions about the height of the roller coaster, its speed, and the materials it was made with. We knew she would enjoy the ride, the problem would just be getting her on it. Before we knew it, or rather, before she knew what she was in for, we were strapped into our seats, the seatbelts secure. My younger sister was sitting between us, both of us holding one of her tiny hands. The stranger seated next to my boyfriend smiled warmly at us.
“Is this your first time?”
“No,” my boyfriend replied, “we’ve been on it before, but it is her first time,” he gestured to my sister.
The guy smiled as he said it was his third time that day. This piqued my sister’s interest.
“Is it scary?” she asked, her big green eyes growing even bigger.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my boyfriend making a face at the stranger, warning him, or rather, asking him for help.
“No, no, no! It's very fun,” he said as he leaned forward a bit. “You’re gonna like it. You’re really gonna like it.”
“See? He’s been on it three times,” my boyfriend reassured her.
She didn’t seem convinced but there wasn’t any time left. We watched as the counter went down, the four of us (stranger included) counting down out loud as the numbers went down from 10. I could see her faltering, counting hesitantly, almost not wanting to. As soon as we started going up, I held onto her hand tightly as my boyfriend placed his arm in front of her protectively. I could see her tearing up as she saw how high up we were getting.
“Look! It’s Montreal,” I tried to show her the view of the beautiful city from here, but she only gripped me tighter, ignoring the view completely.
By now, she was crying. “Mimi!” she screamed my nickname. Before I could say anything, we dropped down quickly, her screams being drowned out by the speed and wind. The three of us held on tightly to each other as the roller coaster rose and dropped. The minute or so of pure adrenaline was a whirlwind of screaming, worrying, and tight hand-gripping.
As we pulled up back onto the embarkment platform, I finally had the chance to look over at my sister. Instead of finding tear-stained cheeks and a red nose, I found her smiling widely, looking up at us with her big green eyes. She didn’t seem scared anymore, her grip loose on my hand when it was tight only a minute before.
When we got off the ride, her hair a tangled mess and her cheeks flushed, she seemed to almost jump with excitement. “I did it!” she said. She had done it. In that moment, she had learned that she could do scary things, that she was capable and protected, and had nothing to fear. As little as she was, she could do difficult things. “It was so much fun!” she would say even weeks later whenever we drove past the Six Flags park, pointing at the long winding yellow and red snake-like shape of the “Goliath.”
Just like in my younger sister’s case, sometimes we need to take risks to fully enjoy the life around us. We all have our own “Goliaths,” monstrous things we’re scared of engaging with that seem so daunting we choose to turn away instead of even trying to approach them. While our comfort zone may seem safe to us, there is so much we could be missing out on that’s only a step past that faint little line we drew for ourselves. Was it not God who said, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”? (Isaiah 41:10) What can our “Goliaths” even do when faced with our God? Whose arms better to protect you and hold you than your Almighty God’s?
As big as your own “Goliaths” may seem, no “Goliath” is unvanquishable, not even yours. So what’s holding you back? What’s your “Goliath”?
The Student Movement is the official student newspaper of Andrews University. Opinions expressed in the Student Movement are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, Andrews University or the Seventh-day Adventist church.