Thanksgiving is right around the corner, which means a big family reunion is on its way! Everyone is sitting around the table, elbow to elbow, and enjoying a lively discussion while the cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes are passed around. It’s all fun and games until one thing leads to another, sparking a heated debate that sends those mashed potatoes flying. It’s important to note that what is referred to as the three no-nos—politics, sports, and religion—at the dinner table are only no-nos if people don’t know how to talk to one another.
With the recent election and the Yankees’ loss to the Dodgers, these topics are going to come up in one form or another. How can we get through these weighty topics and still respect one another in the end? According to political science professor Tim Dale, it boils down to several key points: generosity, mutual respect and reciprocity.
1. Generosity
These topics can get pretty heated and divisive so it is important to always give the person you are talking with the benefit of the doubt. Generosity in conversation means assuming the other person has good intentions, even if their words don't come out the way they meant. It’s about listening actively, showing empathy and refraining from interrupting or immediately countering their points. Instead of jumping to conclusions or focusing solely on “winning” the argument, take a moment to ask clarifying questions like, “Could you explain what you mean by that?” or “I’m curious about your perspective—can you elaborate?” By doing so, you not only show that you value the other person’s thoughts but also open the door for deeper understanding.
2. Mutual respect
It can be difficult at times to keep conversations such as these respectful, but it is of the utmost importance. To show someone that you disagree with their viewpoint but still respect them as a person, you can use phrases like, “I could be wrong, but my understanding is that …” or “I don’t entirely agree, but I can see where you are coming from.” In this way, the other person feels heard, and any wildfires that might erupt from these topics will be blown out.
3. Reciprocity
Everyone wants to feel heard. So, just as we want to be granted that right, we need to lend that right to others and offer them that same courtesy. During a group discussion, smaller voices may not be heard, and people might have to push their way to the top just to squeeze out a peep of their argument. Avoid getting to this point, as people will not learn from one another and just end up getting emotional and personal in the end.
When we jump to disagree with someone, they often shut down or become defensive, which can quickly lead to arguments rather than a productive discussion that helps both sides broaden their perspectives. Not everyone will see things the way you do, and that’s alright. But we’ll never understand one another’s viewpoints if we don’t develop the tools to communicate respectfully. The division comes into play when we separate ourselves into groups and push people into either in-groups or out-groups. When we respond this way, we assume the other person is wrong before even giving them a chance to explain. Even if someone holds a different opinion, finding some common ground can help prevent complete division. Just a small effort to understand and consider another’s perspective can make a world of difference.
As Thanksgiving approaches, let’s remember that it’s more than just a time for turkey and pie: it’s a celebration of connection and gratitude. Family gatherings are the perfect opportunity to practice generosity, mutual respect, and reciprocity—not just in what we say but in how we listen. These tools can transform heated debates into meaningful conversations, turning the dinner table into a space where every voice feels valued.
The Student Movement is the official student newspaper of Andrews University. Opinions expressed in the Student Movement are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, Andrews University or the Seventh-day Adventist church.