Great news! The gazebo and cafeteria will now be offering a student discount to anyone who barks or meows their order at the cash register. Bon Appetit realized that the end of the semester can be a time of struggle for many students who may not have enough money in their cafeteria accounts to sustain themselves. Quite a few undergraduate students have complained about having to budget their remaining dollars once finals week hits, while others have mentioned freeloading off of their friends who don’t frequent the cafeteria as often. In fact, a few years ago, an undergraduate student created a food service program for Andrews’ students to buy food for their peers anonymously during the last few weeks of the semester. With raised cafe prices and ridiculously up-charged merchandise at the Gazebo, it’s no wonder students struggle with getting food when finals week approaches.
Thanks to this new discount, you won’t have to be as frugal anymore! Simply bark or meow what you want to the cashier and you’ll get a 30% discount on all hot food and retail items. On top of that, if you show up to the register in an animal onesie, you’ll get your entire meal for free!
Not only is our lovely food service provider trying to be more affordable for students, they’re also trying to increase awareness for National Pet Day in April. Beyond not serving meat and providing plenty of plant-based food options, Bon Appetit hopes that in providing this new discount, Andrews’ students will be more engaged in advocating for their furry friends.
If you thought these discounts were good, the best one is still yet to come. Next Thursday, April 11, if any student shows up to the Gazebo wearing a tail, they’ll get all of the money left in their cafe account by the end of the semester refunded! Don’t miss out on this great opportunity to save!
Disclaimer: This article is satire. Happy April Fools!
The Student Movement is the official student newspaper of Andrews University. Opinions expressed in the Student Movement are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, Andrews University or the Seventh-day Adventist church.