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Humans are not static creatures, we are naturally dynamic and organic. Reflecting on the past few years of my life just highlights this reality. Though I don't think anything has fundamentally changed I have in many was matured and grown more into myself. College has been a very challenging and exciting experience. I have learned many things about myself. Some good and some bad. I have found that when we become entrenched and static, resistant to change the world passes us by. Growth is an important part of life. The inquisitive nature, the love for learning, the drive for life can all be tied to progressive growth and development of personality and perspective.

If I had to pick the single most formative period of my life, I would pick my year abroad. I was a student missionary during the 2010-11 school year. I came to the island with a healthy outlook and perspective. My stay was only soured by the rampant bacterial infections my poor immune system was subjected to. Even with frequent sick days I loved my time in the marshal islands. My experience was simply paradise. This statement might be misunderstood without understanding the island demographics. "My" island was far from "paradise." In fact, I have heard Ebeye referred to as the "slum of the pacific." Ebeye is an island in the middle of the pacific 400 feet wide and 1.5 miles long. One could run around the island twice in 15 minutes. On this small spit of sand in the ocean 16,000 residents make their home. Ebeye is one of the most densely populated places in the world. This poor, dirty, smelly, overpopulated island was my paradise!

Ebeye offered me a place to grow autonomously. With limited connectivity to the rest of the world, I was left to myself. I had the most time of my adult life to reflect on my goals and beliefs without distractions. This space and time provided me the clarity of thought to formulate and affirm personal beliefs and goals. I often tell people that I "lost my faith" as a student missionary. This is slightly misleading, while I no longer affirm faith in the bible, Christ, or my childhood faith, I did not "lose" my faith. I had been questioning my faith since I could think autonomously and logically.

My "loss" of faith was less a loss than an affirmation of my natural doubt. I had for years questioned and doubted and the island provided me the space and safety to admit this to myself. This realization was unbelievably liberating. I was being honest intellectually with myself for the first time in my adult life. I was liberated to believe what made sense, to act in accordance with what I found to be moral. My thoughts and beliefs where no longer the church's, my parent's, my mentor's, but mine. This is why I believe that I grew the most while overseas sacrificing my time and energy in service of my fellow man.